When I was pregnant, I was severely depressed. I couldn’t envision myself bonding with my baby or being a good enough mother, which led me to suicidal thoughts and immense shame around these feelings.
It was very hard for me to admit that I needed help and that I was worthy of receiving help. Fortunately I was directed to an amazing therapist and doctor through UCSD’s women’s reproductive mental health program. They supported me in my darkest moments and for years since. They helped me find confidence in motherhood and made me realize how valuable my presence in this world is, especially to my child.
While I am devastated to lose access to a trusted long-time provider, I am extremely concerned about the currently pregnant and newly postpartum patients losing the relationships they’ve built with their doctors. If I had lost access to my psychiatrist on short notice in my most vulnerable time, I would have interpreted it to mean that I was unworthy of care and support. For someone already extremely depressed, losing what little support they have can be completely devastating. I would absolutely have internalized this in an unhealthy way.
These doctors are doing such important life-saving work and it saddens me that UCSD does not value them enough to work out an agreement amicably. Instead, they are issuing policies on short notice and expecting providers to change their lives around or lose their jobs, with no regard to what that means for patient care or their own employees.
— J.